HIV tests are more positive than that guy
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
