I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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