She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
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