Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
i believe in u and ur pee
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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