all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
