Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
