In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
