You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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