You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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