it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
