If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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