If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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