Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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