Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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