why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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