The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
