More tranny stories later!
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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