All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Porn is love you can see.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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