so that wasnt chicken after all
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
What changed your mind?
Being sober
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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