hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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