Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
