I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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