I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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