oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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