well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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