Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
