Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
