i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Randomize
