where am i from again
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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