Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
