Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
