well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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