with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
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