Do vagina's smell?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
