also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
