New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
