Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
we're making bets on your personal life
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
