Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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