drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
