I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
