I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
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