You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
