I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
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