You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
