Nicole vs. Life
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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