Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
thus making me awesome and them whores
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
