just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
