i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
