All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
The struggles of a small town man whore
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
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