Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
We got so high we made milksteak
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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