So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Randomize
