Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
