In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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